This photo now shows all that it had before and so much more. It isn't just the addition of another person; it showcases life. Real, down to the nitty-gritty life in all it's glory and differences. It shows dedication, commitment and choosing each other - even on the really difficult days. The days when people who have been blessed in not experiencing the blending of two families, will almost always misunderstand us. The days when I'm told I will never be his "real" mom because he has a biological mother already. The days he is told he is not my "real" son because I didn't give him life. Those are the days we choose each other more and now we are very much mother and son.
Because here is the thing, right now you are letting them down, not your ex. In a matter of years that will fly by like seconds, there will be weddings, children and life events - and it will be you let down when the invites are no longer extended. It will be you alone without a choice because you chose anything and everything except your children. All you have to do is show up. It really is that easy.
I'm not in the parenting business to make friends, and I am okay not doing what other parents do. My children need to know that sometimes the right thing, is not what Susie and everyone else is doing. Sometimes the right thing is the least cool thing to do.
If I am being honest with myself, I knew when he asked to call me mom, my answer was not coming from a kind and loving place. I knew I was coming from a "you already have a mom, and you are her responsibility, not mine" type of place. And, a place of "you are too much "work" for me."
I should not have to be in fear dropping my children off at school, that they may be a victim today because you were afraid to be a good parent yesterday!