I resolve to always change the bulb from here on out

bulbAnd he rubbed my back, he really did… Of course this an odd place to start and what might seem like something so insignificant that it shouldn’t be worth mentioning. However, you couldn’t be further off the beaten path. Truth is, before this, before the Love Dare – he hated rubbing my back. Okay he probably does still, but you know what I am saying. Prior he made excuses like ” my fingers hurt” or the wonderful Oscar winning performance where his hand slowly stops because he pretended he had fallen asleep; made me quit asking. It happens at your home too, I bet.

Now, don’t get me wrong, doing the Love Dare isn’t so you can get your spouse to do the dishes, or rub your back, but when things are better – we ALL tend to act and love each other better.

My husband and I both like playing cribbage, and we have the app on our phones. We used to get into bed, and play against each other, best out three all the time. However letting life, kids, fighting, schedules and whatever else get in the way, we stopped playing both the game and with each other. The Love Dare forces you to re-evaluate, to get involved, to remember to interact with your spouse. The night before last, I challenged my husband with a best out of three cribbage battle. He of course, as many men would, accepted the challenge. If we won, we got whatever we asked for – I chose a neck massage. He never verbalized his choice. Which come to think of it now – was odd. I figured it would be something in the unmentionable region – but I just let his silence lead the way.

Game two, I was in the lead, in fact, I almost skunked him even, but by one point, I lost. Game two, neck and neck, and again within a few points, I lost. Oh man, there goes that opportunity – not only did I lose to the “master of cribbage”, but the elusive neck massage would slip through his grasp and my relaxation yet again. However, this time that didn’t bother me like before.  None of that really mattered, because we had fun, we laughed, we competed and we spent time one on one. After placing our phones on their chargers, I rolled over and placed my head on his chest, feeling at peace, relaxed, and happy. And then it happened…

He started rubbing my neck, then my back – all on his own, without my saying anything. Within minutes I was sound asleep like a little baby – hopefully minus the drooling! It was by far the best night of sleep I have had in months. To him, it probably wasn’t anything major – to me, it meant the WORLD. He did something he really just flat out doesn’t like, to make me happy.  I thought he forgot how to do that, or  that we as a couple had forgot the importance of doing things for the ones we love. But, the truth is that when we take care of our spouse, in every way, they do want to, and most often will, return the kind gestures that aren’t an expectation.

I am sure there are many men who do this for their spouses all the time, and it isn’t this monumental accomplishment, however it should be. We need to remember our spouses chose to be with us, and its a choice to keep the romance, the little things we hate to do, the friendship and love alive. We forget to thank them, to acknowledge them – to love them in the ways we did in the beginning.

Little by little – we are falling in love again, reconnecting and recommitting to this life long process of give and take, expectations, sometimes heart break and disappointment – all which are parts of marriage that after the storm, create a closeness that couldn’t have been achieved without the trials and tribulations in the first place. It is a great feeling – to feel great. Its a loving feeling to love and be loved in return. We are all constantly learning and growing, what a great experience it is – to choose to do that together.

When was the last time you truly showed your spouse – they are special, appreciated and loved by you?



About Totally Jessifiable

This blog contains all the inner workings of me - the good the bad and the ugly. Although a majority of it is Step-Mom related since that is my current state of parenting along with my own children. There will be times of regress, moments of my childhood, good and bad that created the parent I am today - and there will be moments of utter happiness because I have made it through hell and back. This blog is real, it will hopefully make you angry, it will make you cry, it will make you laugh so hard you may pee your pants - its suppose to create a feeling within you - and I hope it does.

Posted on April 11, 2013, in Life, Love, Marriage & Divorce, Stepparents and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Wonderfully written and timely for me as well!! Thank you!

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